Why I Follow Him
by Sariniste
Summary: Rangiku asked, "Why, Gin? Why do you follow Aizen?" What Gin would have answered if he had a chance. Gin's POV. From chapter 412. Diverges from the manga at chapter 414.
1. Chapter 1

**Why I Follow Him**

**Chapter 1**

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**A/N: **The answer to the question Rangiku most wants to know about Gin. From Chapter 412. Gin's POV. Diverges from the manga at chapter 414.

My first fanfic, so please be kind!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.**  
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Rangiku stood there, looking more haggard than I'd ever seen her, confronting us on the street in Karakura Town. In a moment I knew she would say something that I wouldn't want to hear. I picked her up and flash-stepped away with a mumbled excuse to Aizen-sama. I knew he was watching me, but he didn't stop me.

When I was out of earshot, I stopped and threw her down on a rooftop.

She glared at me. "Why, Gin? Why do you follow Aizen?"

I looked at her. I couldn't tell her. There were so many things I could never tell her. When Rangiku and I were still kids, she had no inkling of the things I did, the crimes I committed to keep us safe. Life on the Rukongai streets was brutal, but I managed to shield her from some of it. But I never wanted her to know. All I knew is that I had to get stronger so I could protect us both. The only safety lay in strength and power.

So I entered the Shinigami Academy, and my life changed. But despite all the honors and accolades I received in class, the other students still looked down on me as a street kid. They picked fights with me at first; then after I had wiped the floor with many of them, they fell back on name-calling and innuendo. The more the teachers called me a genius, the more the students hated me.

I didn't care. When I smile, no one knows what I'm thinking.

Then I was assigned to the Fifth Division. I had heard it was a comfortable post; the captain was a clown and the lieutenant a nice guy, a pushover. Not so big on discipline. Suited me fine.

That night the third seat of the division followed me out of the barracks. I waited until he had trailed me to a dark field, then I turned to face him.

I could sense anger in his reiatsu. He was ready to fight. Well, so was I. "Why does some Rukongai street kid get a seated position when my brother was passed over?"

I said nothing. I smiled.

He glared and drew his zanpakutou. "Let's see how good you really are."

There was a movement in the shadows. Fifth Division Lieutenant Aizen Sousuke stepped into the moonlight. The third seat gasped, seeing how it must have looked, a grown man drawing his sword on a child (I loved being a child – you could get away with so much). "My humble apologies, sir!"

I sighed inwardly. This had happened before. Now there would be the barked orders, the scolding that the shinigami officers seemed to think was necessary to maintain discipline… a public apology from the man… followed by another attack in private.

But Aizen only said quietly, "No, please don't let me stop you." He looked at me. "You want to fight, don't you."

Surprised, I nodded.

He looked back at the third seat. "Please, go ahead." Then he paused, and I thought I saw a glint in those mild eyes, but I dismissed it as a trick of the moonlight. "As a matter of fact, please don't hold back. Let's not make this just a sparring match."

I looked at him, my smile faltering. Was he just telling us to fight to the death? He returned my gaze and nodded slightly. His brown eyes seemed almost menacing behind his glasses.

Well. This was an unexpected bonus. I smiled again and glanced back at my opponent, who was looking startled. Then I drew Shinsou.

The fight was over rapidly and soon the man lay on the ground.

Aizen stepped forward. "Impressive," he said softly. "You're even better than the rumors suggest."

I shrugged.

"Could you perhaps," he said, "tell me your name one more time?"

I threw back my head proudly. "Gin. Ichimaru Gin."

"What did you think of our third seat?"

"Ah, he was pathetic. Not even worth mentionin'."

Aizen smiled at that, and it was not the kind, friendly smile I'd seen in class and out on the training field. "Is that so?" His voice sounded deeper and more resonant than I remembered. I felt a thrill go down my spine. "That's wonderful to hear."

XxXxXxX

After that he would often send for me, first for private training sessions where he taught me special techniques and cautiously probed my ethics. He hinted at forbidden knowledge that could be mine if I agreed to work with him. I assented eagerly to all he said, promised him my silence (promises are easy to make), and learned. I got stronger.

Soon he was sending me out on small errands he wanted done quietly. I learned he had a network of agents and informants throughout Soul Society. I gathered he was heavily involved in the politics of the Gotei 13, although he said almost nothing. I quickly learned that he did not like inquisitiveness. When he saw that I obeyed his orders without question, he gave me one of his rare true smiles, and sent me out on other, bloodier missions. I became his best assassin.

But still, I didn't trust him fully. I knew that I could learn from him, but one thing I had learned well from observing criminals in the Rukongai: they always got caught eventually. The more successful they were, the greedier they got. They went for bolder and bigger crimes, cocky with their previous successes, and then one day they overstepped the line, angered someone with too much power.

Then they were dead.

I saw Aizen was doing the same thing. He was even more eager for power than I was, experimenting with forbidden techniques, trying more and more dangerous methods to increase his abilities. He never explained anything to me, and I never asked for any information. I just watched him carefully. When he started experimenting on humans, I was secretly thrilled, although Tousen Kaname, his highest ranking ally, was clearly nervous about the whole process.

Life was never boring around Aizen.

But I knew no one would really care if a few lowly denizens of the 80th district disappeared. Certainly when I had grown up there, deaths were commonplace, and the shinigami never investigated.

It was a completely different story when Aizen decided he needed to test his process out on captain-class shinigami. Lieutenant Tousen argued at length, and even I wondered if this was it for Aizen. I thought about how I would run if he crossed the line and got caught. But it was too exciting to stop. Like a moth to a flame, I knew I was going to get burned – but I couldn't look away from Aizen's face, his intense, deep brown eyes, as he spoke so softly of power, death, and betrayal.

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_(to be continued)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Why I Follow Him**

**Chapter 2

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**The answer to the question Rangiku most wants to know about Gin. From Chapter 412. Gin's POV. Diverges from the manga at chapter 414. **

**A/N: I was depressed by recent events in the manga, so I wrote this. The way it should have been...**

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I remember that night a century ago as if it were yesterday.

We were watching the fight with the hollowfied Kensei, hidden behind a kidou spell. Then Hiyori screamed. Aizen seemed very interested in the process in her. He ordered Tousen to go out and stop Love from interfering with her. Our captain, Hirako Shinji, lay on the ground. There was a look of utmost shock on his face as he accused Tousen of betrayal.

I looked over at Aizen. He was gazing intently at Hirako, a small smile curling his lips. He broke the kidou suddenly and walked toward the shinigami. I followed, one pace behind him.

"Tousen didn't betray anyone," he said as Hirako's eyes widened in shock. "He's very loyal. In fact, he followed every order I gave him." He stopped in front of Hirako and I saw an expression almost of glee on his usually rigidly controlled face.

I knew Aizen detested Hirako and thought him incompetent. Although he usually kept himself and his emotions under tight control, I had learned to read his expressions from years of close attention to tiny details in his facial muscles. Hirako distrusted Aizen, although he had no evidence against him, and kept him at a distance. I had seen Aizen watching the interactions between other captains and their lieutenants with carefully disguised envy. Aizen despised the fact that he had to be subservient to his captain. Well, Aizen hated being under anyone.

I could hear the deep triumph in his voice, thrumming with the energy of his pent-up fury barely released from years of control. His eyes were glittering. "Please don't blame him, Hirako-taichou." He smiled down at the figure prostrate on the ground, and narrowed his eyes with satisfaction and pleasure.

"Aizen!"gasped Hirako. "So it was you after all!"

"You suspected?" Aizen asked, suddenly mild again. "I should have expected as much."

"Of course I did."

"Since when?" I was also curious to know when Hirako had realized Aizen was not the man he seemed to be.

"Since you were in your mother's womb!" Hirako ground out.

Aizen sighed. It seemed Hirako wasn't going to give him useful information. "I see."

"I always thought you were dangerous, that you couldn't be trusted. That's why I chose you as my lieutenant – to keep an eye on you, Aizen!" he spat.

The brown-haired man smiled. "Yes, and I'm grateful, Hirako-taichou. Thanks to your deep-seated doubts, you didn't suspect a thing."

Hirako shifted on the ground to glare at Aizen. "I just told you I suspected you!"

Aizen watched him as he attempted to crawl forward, and smirked again. "No," he said. "You didn't realize, did you, that this whole month, I wasn't the one walking behind you."

I was starting to lose interest as Aizen gloated. He loved to lecture and hear himself talk, and I suppose after decades of hiding his zanpakutou's true ability, it must have been a relief to explain Kyouka Suigetsu's power to yet another victim.

But I had heard it all before, and some of the Hollowfied shinigami were starting to stir. I was wondering if it might be time to finish them all off and get out of there before anyone else detected the reiatsu storm and came out to investigate. Still, I didn't dare interrupt Aizen. Although he did not get angry often, when he did, it was always deadly. Anyone who worked closely with him learned not to get in the way of the least of his whims – or they didn't survive long.

On the other hand, it was definitely amusing to watch quietly from behind as yet another of Aizen's once-powerful victims lay before him helpless and consumed with hatred. Quite a turnaround for an outcast from Rukongai.

Aizen was continuing to taunt Hirako, who looked about ready to snap. "Your suspicions and vigilance were ideal for my plans." It was very entertaining. I wondered when he would go for his sword despite his injuries. "Perhaps you should apologize to your friends. Because you chose me, they're lying on the ground now, bleeding and unconscious."

I saw the rage flare in Hirako's eyes, an instant before he reached for his sword. "Aizen!" Then it happened. He began to retch and white fluid spewed from his mouth. The rage in his eyes turned to terror and confusion.

Aizen smiled slightly. "Thank you for rising to my slight provocation." There was a triumphant, deeply gratified look in his narrowed eyes.

"Damn it! Not me, too!" Hirako gurgled in shock and anger. "Aizen! What's going on? What the hell do you want?"

"Just as I thought," Aizen mused softly to Tousen and me as Hirako bent over and retched again, moaning in agony. "Agitation speeds up the hollow transformation."

There was movement on the ground behind them. A young girl with her hair in ponytails was struggling to her feet, the hollow transformation already well underway. Hiyori. I didn't know her well, but she was foul-mouthed and rude, and had never called me by a name other than "street brat."

"Shinji?" she gasped.

Finally, Aizen took notice of the other shinigami beginning to regain consciousness. "Kaname," he said softly.

"Right." Tousen drew his sword. In a moment he had slashed Hiyori and she fell.

"Captain Hirako," Aizen said softly. "Let's finish this." At last. Aizen appeared absolutely calm as usual, but I was jittery and almost shaking, all my street instincts screaming at me to run, fast, from the scene of this horrific crime. Aizen was letting his pleasure in his triumph overcome his usual caution, and we were at risk of being caught. And I knew the stakes. For a crime such as this, in the Sereitei, even high-ranking officers such as Aizen and Tousen would be sentenced to death. As for me… well, it didn't even bear thinking.

But Aizen was still delaying, taking time to gloat yet again. "Remember this in the end. The betrayal you can see is trivial. What is truly fearsome, is the betrayal you don't see, Captain Hirako." He drew his sword and held it up. "Goodbye." His eyes were dark with pleasure, and his lips curled in a small smile. "You were all wonderful… materials."

Suddenly, I heard a noise behind us. I whirled to see Captain Urahara and Kidou Captain Tsukabishi attacking. They had somehow hidden their reiatsu and come upon us unawares. It was all over. The death I had always been expecting flashed in front of my eyes.

I couldn't keep myself from blurting out nervously, "Oops. They found us."

Even then, I never lost my smile. My protective coloration was too deeply ingrained, even in my moments of pure terror. But now I finally realized that I had made a mistake in following Aizen, that he had allowed his emotions to take precedence over practicality, and now all his careful, dispassionate planning had been ruined. It was over. I had thought he was cold and powerful, but he had made the mistake all criminals make… he had gone too far.

"I'll kill them," said Tousen.

"No." Aizen said softly. His expression was utterly placid. He didn't even look at Tousen.

"But…"

"Kaname." Aizen's voice turned deadly calm, even as he continued to hold Urahara's gaze. I had heard him use that tone before to quietly order the torture and death of a subordinate who had displeased him, and I shuddered involuntarily. Tousen blanched and instantly dropped to a knee. Even at risk of arrest and execution, his fear of Aizen was greater.

"Yes, sir! Please forgive my audacity!"

Urahara began to question Aizen, who started spinning him what appeared to me to be a very unconvincing story. It was scary to see him sound so transparent this time. It really was over. I had seen him talk his way out of tight situations before, rapidly constructing seamless lies in that smooth, deep voice with a mild, sincere look in his brown eyes. He was a master of thinking on his feet, and I admired him deeply for it, striving to learn all I could from him so I could survive and grow powerful. This time, Aizen spoke with his usual calm reasonableness, but it seemed to me there was a mocking undertone in his voice, as though he really didn't care whether or not they believed him. And indeed, Urahara looked very unconvinced.

"Why are you lying?" From under the brim of his hat, his gaze locked on Aizen. "This is hollowfication."

I saw a change pass over Aizen's face. Before, I had sensed a shadow of defiance in him. But now, as his eyes narrowed, I could see he was calculating rapidly with that lightning intellect. Suddenly, he seemed very pleased. "I see." He smiled ever so slightly at Urahara. "You're just the sort of man I thought you were."

He relaxed and sheathed his sword, his tone now genial and warm. "I'm glad you came here tonight." Then he turned to us. "Gin. Kaname. We've accomplished enough for tonight. Let's go."

Obedient as all of Aizen's followers were expected to be, we instantly fell in step behind him. But my mind was whirling. Did Aizen really think we could just walk away from two powerful captains? The space between my shoulder blades itched, but I didn't dare look behind me at Urahara and Tsukabishi. I heard shouting, and the beginning of what sounded like a powerful spell.

I snuck a peek at Aizen's face. There was a small glint in his eyes. He looked, somehow, profoundly satisfied and pleased with himself. How could it be? What was going to happen now? What could he possibly have planned? I could not see any way out.

I sensed the energy of an incredibly powerful spell of destruction about to be released upon us. Surely even Aizen couldn't defeat Kidou Captain Tsukabishi, rumored to be the most powerful kidou user in the Sereitei. I waited for imminent death, even as I somehow continued to place one foot in front of the other as I walked beside Aizen and Tousen. I could smell Tousen's sweat – he was terrified too.

Even as I heard the rumble from behind us, Aizen's expression didn't change. "Bakudo 81," he said quietly. "Danku."

Suddenly everything was quiet and calm. It was the Severing Void spell, which I had heard of, but had no idea Aizen had command of. It was an unbelievably powerful spell that could block any attack and transport the wielder to safety. Had we escaped?

We were back on the outskirts of town.

Aizen smiled at us. "Go back to your barracks. Do and say nothing to anyone."

Tousen gaped at him. "But what…?"

"Don't be afraid. Everything will be taken care of. There will be no investigation. Just relax and go back to bed, and everything will be revealed in the morning." Aizen spoke with utter certainty, again with that glitter of calm triumph in his eyes.

"Yes, Aizen-sama." We bowed and left.

XxXxXxX

And in the morning it all came out. The news and rumors were on everyone's lips. It had been Urahara behind it all. He had been conducting illegal hollowfication experiments, and had been banished to the world of the living for his crimes.

And Aizen? He had been cleared of all suspicion. Yamamoto even gave him a commendation for his role in the investigation. With all the vacancies at captain and lieutenant levels throughout the Gotei 13, there was at long last rapid movement among the ranks, reversing decades of stagnation.

Aizen maneuvered his supporters into rapid promotions. He and Tousen became captains, and as my reward, I was promoted to lieutenant under Aizen in the Fifth Division.

The balance of power in the Gotei 13 had shifted. Although the old guard still held the key positions, after centuries of unchanging rule, there was new blood at the highest levels. Overnight, Aizen's position had skyrocketed. No longer merely a promising outsider, he was now a key mover in the political hierarchy of the Sereitei. He was one of the rulers now.

It was then I finally realized the full extent of Aizen's intricate and interlocking plans. He had designed all his actions to dovetail from the beginning. He had had strategies upon strategies. His final hollowfication experiments were not spur-of-the-moment power-hungry escalations as I had originally thought, but a carefully engineered plan designed not only to give him a full set of calibrated data points for his research, but to clear the way, in one stroke, for his political star to rise to the top of the Gotei 13.

In that moment, I did what I had never done before in my life. On the streets, trust meant nothing and betrayal was to be expected for any amount of cash. No one was ever truly loyal. But at that moment, deep within my heart, I swore utter loyalty to Aizen Sousuke. I realized that there was nothing he would not achieve. He was brilliant and ruthless. He had both the ability to rise to the top and the amorality to let nothing and no one stop him. He would take whatever he wanted, no matter what the cost to others. And of course, that meant that those who followed him would inevitably rise in his wake, as long as they remained loyal and useful.

I swore at that moment to do whatever I could to become stronger, to forever be of use to Aizen in his plans, to be his perfect tool and subordinate. Because there could be no more successful path for a street kid from Rukongai, no other way for one of such humble beginnings to navigate the treacherous shoals of privilege and politics in the Gotei 13.

I realized, as I gazed upon this man with his deceptively calm brown eyes hidden behind those scholarly glasses, that this man would be my god, and that I would worship and follow him forever, in life and beyond death. And I knew there was no other way for it to be, for Aizen, with his vast insight into psychology, could see into my heart, and at the first hint of disloyalty or weakness, he would destroy me as casually as he had destroyed so many others.

I smiled.

That meant that in his service, I could get away with anything. I could do anything I wanted, indulge any pleasure, commit any crime… reach undreamt-of levels of power.

This was gonna be fun.


End file.
